The Family Depot, Pt. 5: RE-STORE: Peace

Over the past five weeks, we have tried to respond to five questions that you, our congregation, have been asking about your lives personally, marriage, family, vocation, and ministry:

We talked about:

• RE-VISION – balancing our lives.
• RE-ACTION – handling peer-pressure as adults and children.
• RE-CREATE – working creatively in our families.
• RE-FRESH – using media before it uses us.

In this message, we answer the question, “How can we achieve and maintain peace and harmony in our lives?”

What is the one thing millionaires would give up their millions to attain? What is the one thing that the rich and glamorous grave for most, especially when they come home at night?  What is the one thing that restores the brokenness many face in their lives, marriages, even business relationships?

It’s not more money, or more glamour or fame, not even better position in life….IT IS PEACE.  I wish finding it was as simple of walking into a Home Depot store & asking for “light bulbs,” But we are hoping to find in answer in this message.

Jesus said in John 14:27  (1079) -”Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (NLT) “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

When you look more deeply into the meaning of the word Jesus uses for peace, you learn a lot about the peace Jesus gives. It is not as the world gives (the absence of conflict) but peace in the midst of the storms of life.  It’s broad, wide, deep, high.

How do we achieve this peace and apply it to my every day life in family, marriage, work, and ministry? Jesus said, “The peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.” Let me describe this “peace” as……

-Peace with God – Greek for peace used by Jesus is “peace of the soul assured of it’s salvation; the Messiah’s peace” The basis for peace and harmony in families is peace in one’s individual heart and life, when we are reconciled to God. Finding peace with God is the great challenge of every person born in sin.  That’s what Jesus came to do.  He came to restore right relationship between God and man.  That’s why He died on the cross, that’s why his blood was shed for the remission of sin, your sin and mine.  Thank God, He finished the work.  Through Him we can know this peace. Do you have it today?  We can help you.

-Peace with Self – it is “exemption from rage and havoc; a state of quietness and tranquility.” Ladies, nothing attracts a man more than a “quiet spirit” of confidence and trust in God, and in him. Men, a confident, calm spirit is what women look for in the man she wants as leader of her family.

That comes when we are at peace with ourselves, when there is a deep settled peace in our hearts. A peace that rests in the peace Jesus gives.  Do you have it today?

-Peace with OTHERS – Now we come to the focus of this message at the Family Depot.  The Bible speaks of this corporate peace and the need for it.

II Thes. 5:13-”Live in peace (harmony, accord) with one another.”

Colossians 3:15- “Let the peace of Christ rule (direct, take control) in your hearts….”

Eph. 4:3-”Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (corporate tranquility)”

I have learned that there are some principles that make for peace and harmony in our lives, homes, marriages, churches, and businesses. Let’s look at the blueprint today and see what it says. Consider these words:

VULNERABILITY – Making peace begins with honesty when

we are upset, shaken, angered by what other do to us.  I still think lying is the greatest sin in marriages, even churches. The late Dr. Henry Brandt said it was the greatest reason for marital conflict.

When we are offended, the Bible tells us what process we follow to bring harmony back to a relationship.  “Leave your offering and go to the one who has offended you.” The longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Eph. 4:26 “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”

EXPECTATIONS – Most conflict, hurts, disappointments, anger, resentments, come as a result of unfulfilled expectations. You know, “He said this, and she said that,” and neither fulfills their promises.  Sound familiar?

The key to dealing with our expectations is to give them all to God, and take the pressure off each other in our families.  Try this exercise; write them all down on a piece of paper, then crumble it up and toss it upward.  God can handle them!

FORGIVENESS – Eph. 4:32 (MSG) – “Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”

How?

• By asking for forgiveness, and giving it to others.
• By seeing the offense through the other person’s eyes.
• By humbling self to take responsibility for your 1% or 99%.

Let me stop here and spend a few minutes developing this thought because this is where we stumble the most. How do we forgive to achieve peace and harmony again?

1-Realize that God is working through the offender.  Remember David running from Absalom (II Sam 15:26)  Zadok brings the Ark out to protect him, but David tells him, “If the Lord sees fit, He will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again. But if he is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him.”

That sounds like Jesus in Gethsemane. Can you say that when offended by someone?   Listen, if God allows the offense, then He will give you grace.

2- Thank God for the benefit the offense will bring to your life.

(I Thess 5:18 – Romans 8:28)- Do we really believe what these verses say?

3. Discern what specific character qualities God will develop in your life through the offense or trial it causes. (Fruit of Spirit)

4- Expect to suffer for doing what is right, as normal Christian living. Phil. 1:29 “All who live godly will suffer persecution. (MSG) There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.

RESTITUTION – Making things right may be the key to a restored relationship. You may have to repay in word or deed, to break down the barrier of mistrust or bitterness in the other person’s heart.  Is it worth it?      I say yes.

Restitution is ”the restoration of something lost or stolen to its proper owner; recompense for injury or loss; the restoration of something to its original state.”

Restoration is always the goal of the true Christ-follower, not “I don’t trust him and that’s all there is to it!” That won’t hack it with Jesus.  What if He forgave us & than had the same attitude?

Heb. 12:14-15-(1206) “Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”

Don’t miss this (LNT) “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you,” It can happen to anyone of us, if we don’t achieve restoration of peace and harmony in broken relationships.

As you drive away from the Family Depot today, and we finish this series, take these messages with you and share them with others. They are all available on CD in a complete set of the five messages.  Let us know if you would like to order the set for yourself or someone else.

Let me close with a benediction to end this series:

I Thess. 5:23-24 (MSG) “May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!”

YOU CAN DO IT…..HE WILL HELP!